When dealing with a broken heart, many of us turn to the comforting words of our friends. Sometimes we find ourselves in the 'friend' position being put on the spot to give wise advice and encouraging words. The pressure of this responsibility can cause a person to crack and say, or do, the absolute wrong things... with the best intentions of course. So these are the things you SHOULDN'T do and say to a friend going through a break up.
1. What You Should Have Done - Ah, the "If I were you, I wouldn't have said..." lines. A good friend never gives 'advice' on what the now ex should have done. It's too late now, and no one wants to hear they should have done things differently, even if they should have!
2. He or She Wasn't Even That Cute - What?! You might as well say your friend has bad taste and in turn isn't that great of a catch either. Don't insult your friend's ex with physical jabs, but don't do the opposite either. Instead, compliment your friend on his or her positive attributes and qualities, which will find them a great partner in the future.
3. Ice Cream Binge - Yes, although comforting, ice cream or sugar binges are always a bad idea as the 'fat' thoughts will enter your friend's mind and cause self esteem to lower even more. Try going on a walk, run or trip to the gym with your friend. Not only is this healthy, it will increase the feel good endorphins in your friend's brain and result in positive effects for both their mind and body.
4. Making the Wrong Playlist - Music is a great idea, however, the wrong music can have the opposite effect for your friend. His or her favorite song might remind them of their recent ex, causing further depression. If you are feeling inspired to create a mix for your friend, find the good songs, oldies, hits that you are sure have no current emotional investments and sing about how great it is to be single, carefree or just happy. Walking on sunshine anyone?!
5. Sending Them on a Date Too Soon - With all the best intentions, you have just sent your friend on a fixed date the weekend after their break up, and maybe this date is a 10, but is it too soon?! Someone dealing with a broken heart can make for a very unpleasant date, leaving you now with 2 friends that could be upset with you. Instead, do a girls or guys night out! Surround your friend with other friends of the same sex, no couples, and hit the town supporting him or her. If they want to flirt with someone, they will have the opportunity but this way it leaves it up to them.
Remember that when your friend is going through a break up, they need the emotional support of their friends, of you. Think of when you had a broken heart, and what you would want to hear or do to help you through. Saying the right things to your friends during a break up rests in the simple mindset of keeping your advice and actions positive on all levels. Most importantly, though, is to remember to listen. People need to vent and get emotions out to properly deal with this unfortunate area of life, so let them. It's not always your words that they are looking for, but just your presence and listening ear.
